Life's Journey
Good evening one and all.
'Tis been a while since last I was here and it is with sadness and a deep sense of loss that I come to you at this particular time. As you know, I left you in February with a brief note concerning my reasons for temporarily abandoning my blog. 'Twas a harrowing journey from Christmas last until March 30th when my darling husband and partner left this world to dwell with the angels. I have known many sorrows in my lifetime but none so painful as losing my other half -my soul mate. And so this evening I will take you on one of life's journeys; one I hope my words will somehow prepare you for such an eventuality; mayhap help those of you traveling that road, now.
For all that I consider myself a strong, durable individual I learned just how quickly I could be, was, taken to my knees by what I now term the silent killer of human kind. Neither of us was prepared for what we were to face; both of us believing that pneumonia was the single culprit that began draining a strong man's physical strength from him, bit by bit. Truth told, he did have pneumonia which was shocking enough given that he'd never been seriously ill in the whole of his life. But that my friends was just the tip of the ice berg.
By the time all the medical tests were run we knew that there was more to his problem than the obvious. What I learned made me violently ill; sick to my stomach. Worse, it was up to me to deliver the dreaded news to the man I had always looked upon as ten feet tall and oh yes, bullet proof, too. There in that sterile hospital room, just the two of us holding onto one another, I told him his life was nearly done. Cancer -brain, lung, and within a matter of weeks it was worse. Twenty-four lesions clouded his brain, a massive tumor in the right lung, another in the cervical area of the spine.
The doctors were shocked that he was up and about and clear of mind for they had never seen so much damage in a living being. But that was how my love was; strong and enduring. Later, following fourteen rounds of aggressive radiation to the brain and one heavy round of two kinds of chemotherapy, we got more bad news. Tumors all along his spine. It was that day that I will never forget; the day we weighed more aggressive treatment against coming home and spending what time he had left with our family. He opted to come home and as I look back I am glad of that choice. We had four full days of quality time together and with the children and the rest of our family; four days in which that amazing man laughed and cried with each of us, shared his personal belongings with his children, and set about getting his house in order as he made certain that I was well set to travel on alone.
On the fifth day he began the decline and I and our daughters and other family members gently cared for him as he slipped further and further away from us. I had pled for a miracle at the beginning and it took me a while to figure out that we were given one; just not what I asked for. In all of that, he never once knew a moment of pain and that, friends, is a miracle. Even his doctors were stymied as to why he did not suffer the horrible pain that usually accompanies one form of cancer, let alone all that he had.
There were many lessons I learned during that journey but the most outstanding one of all is the one I carry in my heart. He never once asked God to deliver him from his illness, but only prayed for his family to weather the grief of his passing. And how strong was his faith! While I will mourn my loss to my dying day, I know that life must continue; that I must carry my load and seek to finish the job I was sent here to do, as he most certainly finished his.
Now, some of you might be wondering why we didn't seek other options regarding his treatment. The answer is simple. There were none capable of doing the job. It matters not who you are and what you are capable of doing; whether that be another Kind with certain abilities, other healing remedies such as can be had from ancient recipies past down through the ages, and so forth. They simply can not cure everything and neither does modern medicine. When one's time comes and one is meant to leave this plane not even a Master of any Kind can deter the inevitable. And so it was.
And so this evening I will leave you with this; bargain not for that which is not meant to be, for to do so is to tempt the wrath of your God. Life's journey must be made, from birth to death, and even those with immortality and longevity beyond what is considered normal will tell you that none are immune. Take heart, for there is a better life awaiting those of us who accept what is written and what will come to pass. Blessed May You Be, Dream Teller
'Tis been a while since last I was here and it is with sadness and a deep sense of loss that I come to you at this particular time. As you know, I left you in February with a brief note concerning my reasons for temporarily abandoning my blog. 'Twas a harrowing journey from Christmas last until March 30th when my darling husband and partner left this world to dwell with the angels. I have known many sorrows in my lifetime but none so painful as losing my other half -my soul mate. And so this evening I will take you on one of life's journeys; one I hope my words will somehow prepare you for such an eventuality; mayhap help those of you traveling that road, now.
For all that I consider myself a strong, durable individual I learned just how quickly I could be, was, taken to my knees by what I now term the silent killer of human kind. Neither of us was prepared for what we were to face; both of us believing that pneumonia was the single culprit that began draining a strong man's physical strength from him, bit by bit. Truth told, he did have pneumonia which was shocking enough given that he'd never been seriously ill in the whole of his life. But that my friends was just the tip of the ice berg.
By the time all the medical tests were run we knew that there was more to his problem than the obvious. What I learned made me violently ill; sick to my stomach. Worse, it was up to me to deliver the dreaded news to the man I had always looked upon as ten feet tall and oh yes, bullet proof, too. There in that sterile hospital room, just the two of us holding onto one another, I told him his life was nearly done. Cancer -brain, lung, and within a matter of weeks it was worse. Twenty-four lesions clouded his brain, a massive tumor in the right lung, another in the cervical area of the spine.
The doctors were shocked that he was up and about and clear of mind for they had never seen so much damage in a living being. But that was how my love was; strong and enduring. Later, following fourteen rounds of aggressive radiation to the brain and one heavy round of two kinds of chemotherapy, we got more bad news. Tumors all along his spine. It was that day that I will never forget; the day we weighed more aggressive treatment against coming home and spending what time he had left with our family. He opted to come home and as I look back I am glad of that choice. We had four full days of quality time together and with the children and the rest of our family; four days in which that amazing man laughed and cried with each of us, shared his personal belongings with his children, and set about getting his house in order as he made certain that I was well set to travel on alone.
On the fifth day he began the decline and I and our daughters and other family members gently cared for him as he slipped further and further away from us. I had pled for a miracle at the beginning and it took me a while to figure out that we were given one; just not what I asked for. In all of that, he never once knew a moment of pain and that, friends, is a miracle. Even his doctors were stymied as to why he did not suffer the horrible pain that usually accompanies one form of cancer, let alone all that he had.
There were many lessons I learned during that journey but the most outstanding one of all is the one I carry in my heart. He never once asked God to deliver him from his illness, but only prayed for his family to weather the grief of his passing. And how strong was his faith! While I will mourn my loss to my dying day, I know that life must continue; that I must carry my load and seek to finish the job I was sent here to do, as he most certainly finished his.
Now, some of you might be wondering why we didn't seek other options regarding his treatment. The answer is simple. There were none capable of doing the job. It matters not who you are and what you are capable of doing; whether that be another Kind with certain abilities, other healing remedies such as can be had from ancient recipies past down through the ages, and so forth. They simply can not cure everything and neither does modern medicine. When one's time comes and one is meant to leave this plane not even a Master of any Kind can deter the inevitable. And so it was.
And so this evening I will leave you with this; bargain not for that which is not meant to be, for to do so is to tempt the wrath of your God. Life's journey must be made, from birth to death, and even those with immortality and longevity beyond what is considered normal will tell you that none are immune. Take heart, for there is a better life awaiting those of us who accept what is written and what will come to pass. Blessed May You Be, Dream Teller
posted by Dreamteller at
8:34 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home