In retrospect...
Bonjour mes amies.
When I arrived at the office this morning (4:00 a. m.) I was quite surprised to find our ancient colleague and dear friend, Garth, still here. And why is that such a surprise? Well, for several reasons, not the least of which is his being such a busy individual. Then there is always that highest priority of his; spending every minute of his free time, which is precious little, with his beloved wife, Jessica.
You've all read some of my posts where I poke fun at Garth and I've given you my impression of him as a jokester who likes to tease and harass, and generally push some of us to the limits of hysterics, at times. He is usually upbeat, smiling, and does he ever love to flaunt his handsome self around here like a preening peacock. That isn't the person I encountered this morning. One look at that brooding face as he sat here alone in the semi-darkness, staring out the window, and I realized that I am guilty of forgetting that his life isn't always about fun and games. I looked at that profile and the sadness etched into it dropped a heavy weight upon my heart. You can't begin to imagine just how heavy was that weight when he turned to look at me. There was never more truth in the adage that 'the eyes are the window to the soul'.
You know folks, sometimes we get so caught up in our busy lives we fail to recognize family and friends in need of a moment of our time. And sometimes that individual is the one we least expect to need our undivided attention. Such is the case with Garth. Because he isn't one to let his guard down in the presence of others, and because he presents a happy-go-lucky front, I forgot that for all that he is; ageless, powerful, self-sufficient, he has deeper feelings like the rest of us. But he doesn't give into those when others are in his presence.
I kicked my heavy schedule aside and sat down with him. He asked me to read what he'd posted last evening. The reading only required a few minutes of my time but in those few minutes of 'silence', I felt what he intended those who read it to know. Those few minutes seemed to stretch and stretch... When I glanced up at him, his eyes told me he knew he'd been successful in putting across his point. But it was his smile that tore at my heart; one of acceptance for his lot. Blameless as his smile was, I felt the impact of what I saw in his eyes; sadness, loneliness, and a whole host of other emotions and feelings I'd never been privy to where he's concerned.
We had little time to talk, as the dawn approached, but I grabbed what time we had and offered to listen. And Garth gave me a wonderful gift; that of getting to know another, more personal side of him. I wouldn't for the world break his confidence, so suffice it to say that I have a new respect for a man I already highly respected, but failed to let him know that. He knows it now and in future I will be more aware of people and things around me.
I watched him walk out of this office, a proud individual, to seek his rest. As I sit here at the keyboard telling you this my heart is heavy. And I wonder if any of you can possibly understand, or care, that others, like Garth; the man who is Vampyre, exist on the edge of all that we are given and are so often wont to take for granted. Time, twenty-four hours in a day to use as we please; the choice to be ourselves wherever we are and whomever we are with; the sight of a beautiful new day filled with sunshine; the ability to lay our heads upon our pillows wherever and whenever we choose in relative safety; morning coffee with our family and friends, and whatever else we choose to do with our time.
Sure, he told you he enjoys many of the same things we do but he doesn't have the choice of doing those things at his leisure. His time is limited to the hours of darkness and we complain that ours is limited? Ponder, and Blessed May You Be, Kaithlin.
When I arrived at the office this morning (4:00 a. m.) I was quite surprised to find our ancient colleague and dear friend, Garth, still here. And why is that such a surprise? Well, for several reasons, not the least of which is his being such a busy individual. Then there is always that highest priority of his; spending every minute of his free time, which is precious little, with his beloved wife, Jessica.
You've all read some of my posts where I poke fun at Garth and I've given you my impression of him as a jokester who likes to tease and harass, and generally push some of us to the limits of hysterics, at times. He is usually upbeat, smiling, and does he ever love to flaunt his handsome self around here like a preening peacock. That isn't the person I encountered this morning. One look at that brooding face as he sat here alone in the semi-darkness, staring out the window, and I realized that I am guilty of forgetting that his life isn't always about fun and games. I looked at that profile and the sadness etched into it dropped a heavy weight upon my heart. You can't begin to imagine just how heavy was that weight when he turned to look at me. There was never more truth in the adage that 'the eyes are the window to the soul'.
You know folks, sometimes we get so caught up in our busy lives we fail to recognize family and friends in need of a moment of our time. And sometimes that individual is the one we least expect to need our undivided attention. Such is the case with Garth. Because he isn't one to let his guard down in the presence of others, and because he presents a happy-go-lucky front, I forgot that for all that he is; ageless, powerful, self-sufficient, he has deeper feelings like the rest of us. But he doesn't give into those when others are in his presence.
I kicked my heavy schedule aside and sat down with him. He asked me to read what he'd posted last evening. The reading only required a few minutes of my time but in those few minutes of 'silence', I felt what he intended those who read it to know. Those few minutes seemed to stretch and stretch... When I glanced up at him, his eyes told me he knew he'd been successful in putting across his point. But it was his smile that tore at my heart; one of acceptance for his lot. Blameless as his smile was, I felt the impact of what I saw in his eyes; sadness, loneliness, and a whole host of other emotions and feelings I'd never been privy to where he's concerned.
We had little time to talk, as the dawn approached, but I grabbed what time we had and offered to listen. And Garth gave me a wonderful gift; that of getting to know another, more personal side of him. I wouldn't for the world break his confidence, so suffice it to say that I have a new respect for a man I already highly respected, but failed to let him know that. He knows it now and in future I will be more aware of people and things around me.
I watched him walk out of this office, a proud individual, to seek his rest. As I sit here at the keyboard telling you this my heart is heavy. And I wonder if any of you can possibly understand, or care, that others, like Garth; the man who is Vampyre, exist on the edge of all that we are given and are so often wont to take for granted. Time, twenty-four hours in a day to use as we please; the choice to be ourselves wherever we are and whomever we are with; the sight of a beautiful new day filled with sunshine; the ability to lay our heads upon our pillows wherever and whenever we choose in relative safety; morning coffee with our family and friends, and whatever else we choose to do with our time.
Sure, he told you he enjoys many of the same things we do but he doesn't have the choice of doing those things at his leisure. His time is limited to the hours of darkness and we complain that ours is limited? Ponder, and Blessed May You Be, Kaithlin.
posted by Dreamteller at
5:37 AM
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