A true accounting.
Good morning.
I am Trendara; Dream Teller's guest for today and I welcome all of you to this forum. At my hostess's request, I will speak to you about an event that changed my way of thinking, as well as it forever changed my life. Much like many of you, I took life for granted; never giving much thought to anything outside the ordinary. While I always considered myself an ordinary individual with ordinary dreams and needs, I always knew I had a slight difference that set me apart from others. Let me begin here...
During childhood and adolescence I was an only child who enjoyed being the center of my world. I was blessed with loving, if somewhat strict (to my way of thinking), parents from a middle-class background. Ours was a comfortable existence and for the most part I was a happy, carefree child. I had no real concept of what it meant to do without basic neccessities and my parents saw to it that I remained untouched by the uglier things in life. While I had many friends, did well in school, and generally had whatever I wanted, a vague sense of being different followed me through childhood. As it was only a vague stirring that came and went, I never spoke of it. But from time to time, I would go off alone and wonder at what it meant.
At the age of twelve, hormonal changes began to reshape my my body, and within a few months of my thirteenth year I began experiencing confusing changes in my feelings and emotions. I went to my mother and tried to explain those things, and she assured me it was nothing more than the changes that came with growing maturity. As much as I wanted to believe her, deep inside me I knew she hadn't understood what I couldn't find the right words to describe. I awoke one morning shortly after that conversation, in desperate need to find someone who'd understand what was growing inside me; prodding and poking at my conscious and unconscious mind. By that time I was experiencing what I thought were nightmares; shadowy, faceless creatures floating before my eyes, and during the day there were eerie feelings that raised the hair at my nape. And I began to feel fear such as I'd never known.
It was during the latter part of that year that I was certain I was being followed, everywhere I went. My intuition seemed on overdrive so that I was suspicious of everyone; friends and strangers, alike. It seemed to me that a time-bomb was waiting to go off inside me and my fear grew to devastating proportions. It was such that I found it difficult to eat, lost sleep, and began isolating myself from friends. I virtually holed up in my room for the rest of that year, which my folks put down to the normal habits of a teenager going through normal changes. I can't fault them for that because I closed them out of my life; pretended I just needed some space. In truth, I did need to be alone since I found myself feeling restless and agitated in their presence. In short, I felt their lack of understanding meant they didn't care what I was going through enough to do something about it.
While I managed to immerse myself in my school work and keep my grades up, it was that which caused my folks to think my problems weren't of an abnormal situation, and would eventually resolve themselves. So they left me alone to work it out. I soon dropped out of all the extracurricular activities I'd formerlly enjoyed; basketball, volleyball, and band, and baton twirling (which I'd loved from the age of five). I completely gave myself over to my school studies; the one thing that kept me sane in what seemed an insane situation. I graduated high school with honors; the valedictrian, without a firend to my name, or any idea of where I was headed. I'd garnered many honors and scholarships, and had my pick of Universities but to my parents dismay, I had no interest in furthering my studies. But they pressured me to continue on and to appease them and get them off my back, I accepted the scholarship that would take me farthest from home.
It was there, among strangers, that I felt I began to find myself. And it was there where, at last minute, I signed up for an extra-credit class that began to shed some light on things I hadn't understood, before. And it was the professor who taught the class which I would later realize that destiny placed in my path. The evening class was on 'The Influence Of Paranormal Abilities'. There were seventeen students, including myself (we would all learn that we were hand-picked from a large field of hopefuls), and we were all avid seekers of such knowledge. The class was closed to anyone else and we soon learned that our professor was a no-nonsense expert in the field.
Into the second week of that class I was feeling more secure about myself, and beginning to get a glimpse of things that applied to me and what I'd been experiencing from childhood. While I didn't completely let down my guard with the others, I felt comfortable among them; more so with my professor. He had a way about him that held my rapt attention to the exclusion of all else. His mesmerizing voice led, rather than demanded one to focus; instilled confidence in one's desire to explore the extraordinary that others scoffed at; encouraged one to step out of the box and look at things of that nature from differing angles; and opened seventeen minds to extraordinary possibilities. I found it increasingly neccessary to slake my thirst for more and more knowledge.
Mid-semester, my grades for my other classes had slipped a notch, as I pursued that class. One evening I was called to the professor's office after class, and with my heart in my throat, I entered his sanctum where students only ventured at his behest. It was there that my life would forever be changed. As I took a seat before his desk, I feared the worst; that I had somehow offended him, and would be dropped from his class, as two other students had been. Imagine if you can, my total surprise when he smiled, gently shook his head, and answered my unspoken fears. He didn't drop me, and my only offense was in allowing the rest of my grades to slip from A's to B's. As he gently chided me in that rich baritone I'd come to virtually hang on, I learned how much importance he placed on education, as a whole. After extracting my promise to bring my other grades up where they belonged, he sat me back on my heels; began telling me things about myself I'd never discussed with anyone else. I was both afraid and thankful, at the same time.
It took me several moments to get my fears under control, for I'd never been in the presence of someone who had the ability to access my mind, much less delve deeply into thoughts and emotions. I was startled beyond speech and I just sat there listening to him tick off those things, as if they were as natural as anything could be. "Natural to you," his voice faded back into my chaotic mind. That remark loosened my tongue and for nearly two hours I eagerly plied him with questions, and he graciously supplied the answers I'd been seeking for the whole of my eighteen years. I learned that I had certain abilities, not inherited but 'gifted' me from birth. I learned, too, that it was destined for our paths to cross at a particular time; student and teacher. Happiness flooded me at knowing that I wasn't some freak of nature, afterall. At long last, I felt whole; a complete person, and one, according to him, possessed of special talents.
For the rest of that semester and the next he turtored me, privately, after class. At the beginning of my sophmore year he deemed me ready to meet a special person who would further my training; but only if I agreed to keep up the rest of my studies and finish my degree. With that, I had to agree to keep secret the off-campus instruction; whom my instructor was, and so on, until such time that I was told what I could and couldn't reveal. I gave him my word (I am now free to reveal what I'm telling here) and shortly after that meeting, he introduced me to a man that quite simply took my breath away. He was a Witch; a Warlock, to be specific, and the father of my professor, who I learned was also a Warlock.
Between them, the Warlocks (Gregory and his son, Shane) worked with me until they uncovered my true calling. And they continued to teach me to hone my lesser skills until I graduated University then they turned me over to another family member, whom I was to apprentice under to develope my primary calling. Jaceion (Jace, as he is known, is Gregory's step-son and Shane's step-brother) was none other than a Master of the Healing Arts. (Without bragging) I must tell you that it is rare for a female to possess the level of skill in that area that I've developed, and even rarer for a Master of the Art to take on the teaching of one considered an Outsider. But take me on he did and at this telling, while I still study with Jace, I am quite adept in my own right. I am comfortable among their Kind, and other Kinds they've introduced me to, and I'm heartily grateful for who I am and what I can do.
For the most part I work alone but I also work with them, as the need arises; a colleague, as well as a loyal and trusted friend. My gifts are used for the good of those who can benefit from my care and skill, and I am most satisfied with what I accomplish. My life is hectic, at best, and make no mistake, I suffer frustration at times but I wouldn't have it any other way. As I lost my parents in an accident during my junior year at University (which Gregory and his family saw me through) I am free of responsibility, which allows me to move about as I choose. I chose to base myself near the family I have come to love as my own, but I am most often travelling hither and yon, wherever the need for assitance takes me. Perhaps the time will come when I feel the need to spend longer periods of time at home, but for the time being I will go where I'm needed.
Why tell you all of this? Because this adult knows there are many more children experiencing some of the same, vague feelings I experienced as a child. Hopefully, parents who access this blog will recognize something of value in my story so they understand their children better, and children who reach the age of question will gain courage from my story to investigate their needs. Not all extraordinary skills are inherited but gifted, for whatever reason, and they deserve recognition and training. Not everyone with those will be blessed to find mentors and teachers, as I have been, but there are those of us who are ever watchful in the hope that we can help.
I enjoyed this time with you and I hope I gave you something of value. Blessings upon all, Trendara.
I am Trendara; Dream Teller's guest for today and I welcome all of you to this forum. At my hostess's request, I will speak to you about an event that changed my way of thinking, as well as it forever changed my life. Much like many of you, I took life for granted; never giving much thought to anything outside the ordinary. While I always considered myself an ordinary individual with ordinary dreams and needs, I always knew I had a slight difference that set me apart from others. Let me begin here...
During childhood and adolescence I was an only child who enjoyed being the center of my world. I was blessed with loving, if somewhat strict (to my way of thinking), parents from a middle-class background. Ours was a comfortable existence and for the most part I was a happy, carefree child. I had no real concept of what it meant to do without basic neccessities and my parents saw to it that I remained untouched by the uglier things in life. While I had many friends, did well in school, and generally had whatever I wanted, a vague sense of being different followed me through childhood. As it was only a vague stirring that came and went, I never spoke of it. But from time to time, I would go off alone and wonder at what it meant.
At the age of twelve, hormonal changes began to reshape my my body, and within a few months of my thirteenth year I began experiencing confusing changes in my feelings and emotions. I went to my mother and tried to explain those things, and she assured me it was nothing more than the changes that came with growing maturity. As much as I wanted to believe her, deep inside me I knew she hadn't understood what I couldn't find the right words to describe. I awoke one morning shortly after that conversation, in desperate need to find someone who'd understand what was growing inside me; prodding and poking at my conscious and unconscious mind. By that time I was experiencing what I thought were nightmares; shadowy, faceless creatures floating before my eyes, and during the day there were eerie feelings that raised the hair at my nape. And I began to feel fear such as I'd never known.
It was during the latter part of that year that I was certain I was being followed, everywhere I went. My intuition seemed on overdrive so that I was suspicious of everyone; friends and strangers, alike. It seemed to me that a time-bomb was waiting to go off inside me and my fear grew to devastating proportions. It was such that I found it difficult to eat, lost sleep, and began isolating myself from friends. I virtually holed up in my room for the rest of that year, which my folks put down to the normal habits of a teenager going through normal changes. I can't fault them for that because I closed them out of my life; pretended I just needed some space. In truth, I did need to be alone since I found myself feeling restless and agitated in their presence. In short, I felt their lack of understanding meant they didn't care what I was going through enough to do something about it.
While I managed to immerse myself in my school work and keep my grades up, it was that which caused my folks to think my problems weren't of an abnormal situation, and would eventually resolve themselves. So they left me alone to work it out. I soon dropped out of all the extracurricular activities I'd formerlly enjoyed; basketball, volleyball, and band, and baton twirling (which I'd loved from the age of five). I completely gave myself over to my school studies; the one thing that kept me sane in what seemed an insane situation. I graduated high school with honors; the valedictrian, without a firend to my name, or any idea of where I was headed. I'd garnered many honors and scholarships, and had my pick of Universities but to my parents dismay, I had no interest in furthering my studies. But they pressured me to continue on and to appease them and get them off my back, I accepted the scholarship that would take me farthest from home.
It was there, among strangers, that I felt I began to find myself. And it was there where, at last minute, I signed up for an extra-credit class that began to shed some light on things I hadn't understood, before. And it was the professor who taught the class which I would later realize that destiny placed in my path. The evening class was on 'The Influence Of Paranormal Abilities'. There were seventeen students, including myself (we would all learn that we were hand-picked from a large field of hopefuls), and we were all avid seekers of such knowledge. The class was closed to anyone else and we soon learned that our professor was a no-nonsense expert in the field.
Into the second week of that class I was feeling more secure about myself, and beginning to get a glimpse of things that applied to me and what I'd been experiencing from childhood. While I didn't completely let down my guard with the others, I felt comfortable among them; more so with my professor. He had a way about him that held my rapt attention to the exclusion of all else. His mesmerizing voice led, rather than demanded one to focus; instilled confidence in one's desire to explore the extraordinary that others scoffed at; encouraged one to step out of the box and look at things of that nature from differing angles; and opened seventeen minds to extraordinary possibilities. I found it increasingly neccessary to slake my thirst for more and more knowledge.
Mid-semester, my grades for my other classes had slipped a notch, as I pursued that class. One evening I was called to the professor's office after class, and with my heart in my throat, I entered his sanctum where students only ventured at his behest. It was there that my life would forever be changed. As I took a seat before his desk, I feared the worst; that I had somehow offended him, and would be dropped from his class, as two other students had been. Imagine if you can, my total surprise when he smiled, gently shook his head, and answered my unspoken fears. He didn't drop me, and my only offense was in allowing the rest of my grades to slip from A's to B's. As he gently chided me in that rich baritone I'd come to virtually hang on, I learned how much importance he placed on education, as a whole. After extracting my promise to bring my other grades up where they belonged, he sat me back on my heels; began telling me things about myself I'd never discussed with anyone else. I was both afraid and thankful, at the same time.
It took me several moments to get my fears under control, for I'd never been in the presence of someone who had the ability to access my mind, much less delve deeply into thoughts and emotions. I was startled beyond speech and I just sat there listening to him tick off those things, as if they were as natural as anything could be. "Natural to you," his voice faded back into my chaotic mind. That remark loosened my tongue and for nearly two hours I eagerly plied him with questions, and he graciously supplied the answers I'd been seeking for the whole of my eighteen years. I learned that I had certain abilities, not inherited but 'gifted' me from birth. I learned, too, that it was destined for our paths to cross at a particular time; student and teacher. Happiness flooded me at knowing that I wasn't some freak of nature, afterall. At long last, I felt whole; a complete person, and one, according to him, possessed of special talents.
For the rest of that semester and the next he turtored me, privately, after class. At the beginning of my sophmore year he deemed me ready to meet a special person who would further my training; but only if I agreed to keep up the rest of my studies and finish my degree. With that, I had to agree to keep secret the off-campus instruction; whom my instructor was, and so on, until such time that I was told what I could and couldn't reveal. I gave him my word (I am now free to reveal what I'm telling here) and shortly after that meeting, he introduced me to a man that quite simply took my breath away. He was a Witch; a Warlock, to be specific, and the father of my professor, who I learned was also a Warlock.
Between them, the Warlocks (Gregory and his son, Shane) worked with me until they uncovered my true calling. And they continued to teach me to hone my lesser skills until I graduated University then they turned me over to another family member, whom I was to apprentice under to develope my primary calling. Jaceion (Jace, as he is known, is Gregory's step-son and Shane's step-brother) was none other than a Master of the Healing Arts. (Without bragging) I must tell you that it is rare for a female to possess the level of skill in that area that I've developed, and even rarer for a Master of the Art to take on the teaching of one considered an Outsider. But take me on he did and at this telling, while I still study with Jace, I am quite adept in my own right. I am comfortable among their Kind, and other Kinds they've introduced me to, and I'm heartily grateful for who I am and what I can do.
For the most part I work alone but I also work with them, as the need arises; a colleague, as well as a loyal and trusted friend. My gifts are used for the good of those who can benefit from my care and skill, and I am most satisfied with what I accomplish. My life is hectic, at best, and make no mistake, I suffer frustration at times but I wouldn't have it any other way. As I lost my parents in an accident during my junior year at University (which Gregory and his family saw me through) I am free of responsibility, which allows me to move about as I choose. I chose to base myself near the family I have come to love as my own, but I am most often travelling hither and yon, wherever the need for assitance takes me. Perhaps the time will come when I feel the need to spend longer periods of time at home, but for the time being I will go where I'm needed.
Why tell you all of this? Because this adult knows there are many more children experiencing some of the same, vague feelings I experienced as a child. Hopefully, parents who access this blog will recognize something of value in my story so they understand their children better, and children who reach the age of question will gain courage from my story to investigate their needs. Not all extraordinary skills are inherited but gifted, for whatever reason, and they deserve recognition and training. Not everyone with those will be blessed to find mentors and teachers, as I have been, but there are those of us who are ever watchful in the hope that we can help.
I enjoyed this time with you and I hope I gave you something of value. Blessings upon all, Trendara.
posted by Dreamteller at
4:46 AM
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