Insight
Good evening.
Those of you who visit here on a regular basis have already met me but for those who haven't, allow me to introduce myself. I'm Garth de Roderick. Among my Kind I'm an Ancient and a Master. Those titles speak for themselves so I won't get into the whys and wherefores of them.
I thought it would be interesting to give you mainstream Outsiders a look into what is beyond your ordinary routine of daily living. You'll find that I do things by different methods than most; approach things from different angles. It is my way and while it will seem odd, even strange to you, there is the reason -differences, behind this exercise.
There are those of you who think me no more than the stuff of imaginative minds; fodder for movies and books. Some refuse to think of me at all and others, those few of you who are brave enough to deal with reality, know me as Vampyre. Legend deals unkindly with my Kind and for the most part, justifiably so. But, as has been said here many times, all should not be judged as one. Humans have that tendancy to judge by race, creed, color, religion, status, background, and Kind; and more is the pity. But let me move past that.
My great age (2000+ years) has afforded me considerable benefits along with those things of a negative nature. Most important of those is knowledge garnered from every imaginable source (and some unimaginable). With that comes many problems and responsibilities. In order to move about in your society I must perforce appear as one of you. I'm not alluding to physical characteristics but to how I handle myself in order to fit in. Given some thought, one might understand the difficulties I have in that respect. I've had to learn how to enjoy interacting with people without being way-laid by boredom and frustration. How so? Without intending to sound smug or superior, it is my wealth of knowledge that most often strands me among you who are learning things I have known, seen, and experienced over centuries.
Think about that. I must always be on guard against making others feel inferior to me, refrain from speaking of things yet to be learned; pointing out mistakes, and so on. What I did was teach myself to step back and listen and focus on what you are learning rather than what you don't know. In doing that I marvel at your levels ability and problem solving skills, gauge the workings of minds, and recognize talents and the lack there of . One takes pleasure where one finds it. I thoroughly enjoy watching and listening to your children and young people as they grow and learn how to navigate their world. On the other hand I'm often wounded with the seeing and knowing that certain children are headed down a path of destruction, but even that provides me with a focus. Responsibility lies in leaving alone that which isn't mine to correct, mend, or point out. And that is most of difficult for me.
Now I've given you some insight into my social adjustments, I will take you on a journey into the dark side of my world. I have given how to do that much thought and came to the decision to begin with a word that is common and ordinary to you but which speaks volumes in relation to me. That word is 'silence'. At one time or another we've all heard the old adage that 'silence is golden'. You seek it as a means for relaxation, freedom from your harried day, time for yourself. Silence has a different meaning for me, for silence is both kind and cruel at once.
It is a kindness when I need solitude in which to think and reorder my thoughts; rein in my frustrations; and remember that my existence is not all for naught. More often it is cruel, and that in varied ways. I walk alone while the world is at sleep, and often times that silence looms loud and large. While at my forced rest, silence is both friend an enemy. I am wholly dependent upon it during that time, for it is silence that serves as my alarm system. I'm able to hear my enemies and know where they are and what they are about. Nothing could be more cruel than lying in state, near helpless, and knowing that an enemy is creeping nearer and nearer to destroy me. Or knowing that some innocent might inadvertantly stumble upon something that will terrify them. So you see the logisitics in that.
Not for a moment should you think that I'm careless in my choice of resting places. I didn't reach this great age being careless but, as can happen with anyone, unforseeable situations arise. Another cruelty of silence is being forced to hear things I'm unable to prevent while at rest, hearing the danger stalking another; hearing what comes of that. Can you imagine being a helpless bystander to a heinous murder or other horrible crime being perpetrated upon an unsuspecting victim? As you can see, silence isn't always welcome for there are times when it feels to me that it stretches to eternity.
I've not told you this to gain pity for my lot, but to give you a different point of view of me and my circumstances. All of my Kind aren't the heinous fiends we are made out to be. Some of us have learned to accept the life we've been given and like any of you, we approach life in many of the same ways you do. I have a wonderful wife, a home, and friends I enjoy socializing with. I go to movies, nightclubs, the theater. We have get-togethers in our home, attend church, and so on. You may not want to believe in my Kind but the fact is we are here, and we walk among you. God bless all of you, Garth.
Those of you who visit here on a regular basis have already met me but for those who haven't, allow me to introduce myself. I'm Garth de Roderick. Among my Kind I'm an Ancient and a Master. Those titles speak for themselves so I won't get into the whys and wherefores of them.
I thought it would be interesting to give you mainstream Outsiders a look into what is beyond your ordinary routine of daily living. You'll find that I do things by different methods than most; approach things from different angles. It is my way and while it will seem odd, even strange to you, there is the reason -differences, behind this exercise.
There are those of you who think me no more than the stuff of imaginative minds; fodder for movies and books. Some refuse to think of me at all and others, those few of you who are brave enough to deal with reality, know me as Vampyre. Legend deals unkindly with my Kind and for the most part, justifiably so. But, as has been said here many times, all should not be judged as one. Humans have that tendancy to judge by race, creed, color, religion, status, background, and Kind; and more is the pity. But let me move past that.
My great age (2000+ years) has afforded me considerable benefits along with those things of a negative nature. Most important of those is knowledge garnered from every imaginable source (and some unimaginable). With that comes many problems and responsibilities. In order to move about in your society I must perforce appear as one of you. I'm not alluding to physical characteristics but to how I handle myself in order to fit in. Given some thought, one might understand the difficulties I have in that respect. I've had to learn how to enjoy interacting with people without being way-laid by boredom and frustration. How so? Without intending to sound smug or superior, it is my wealth of knowledge that most often strands me among you who are learning things I have known, seen, and experienced over centuries.
Think about that. I must always be on guard against making others feel inferior to me, refrain from speaking of things yet to be learned; pointing out mistakes, and so on. What I did was teach myself to step back and listen and focus on what you are learning rather than what you don't know. In doing that I marvel at your levels ability and problem solving skills, gauge the workings of minds, and recognize talents and the lack there of . One takes pleasure where one finds it. I thoroughly enjoy watching and listening to your children and young people as they grow and learn how to navigate their world. On the other hand I'm often wounded with the seeing and knowing that certain children are headed down a path of destruction, but even that provides me with a focus. Responsibility lies in leaving alone that which isn't mine to correct, mend, or point out. And that is most of difficult for me.
Now I've given you some insight into my social adjustments, I will take you on a journey into the dark side of my world. I have given how to do that much thought and came to the decision to begin with a word that is common and ordinary to you but which speaks volumes in relation to me. That word is 'silence'. At one time or another we've all heard the old adage that 'silence is golden'. You seek it as a means for relaxation, freedom from your harried day, time for yourself. Silence has a different meaning for me, for silence is both kind and cruel at once.
It is a kindness when I need solitude in which to think and reorder my thoughts; rein in my frustrations; and remember that my existence is not all for naught. More often it is cruel, and that in varied ways. I walk alone while the world is at sleep, and often times that silence looms loud and large. While at my forced rest, silence is both friend an enemy. I am wholly dependent upon it during that time, for it is silence that serves as my alarm system. I'm able to hear my enemies and know where they are and what they are about. Nothing could be more cruel than lying in state, near helpless, and knowing that an enemy is creeping nearer and nearer to destroy me. Or knowing that some innocent might inadvertantly stumble upon something that will terrify them. So you see the logisitics in that.
Not for a moment should you think that I'm careless in my choice of resting places. I didn't reach this great age being careless but, as can happen with anyone, unforseeable situations arise. Another cruelty of silence is being forced to hear things I'm unable to prevent while at rest, hearing the danger stalking another; hearing what comes of that. Can you imagine being a helpless bystander to a heinous murder or other horrible crime being perpetrated upon an unsuspecting victim? As you can see, silence isn't always welcome for there are times when it feels to me that it stretches to eternity.
I've not told you this to gain pity for my lot, but to give you a different point of view of me and my circumstances. All of my Kind aren't the heinous fiends we are made out to be. Some of us have learned to accept the life we've been given and like any of you, we approach life in many of the same ways you do. I have a wonderful wife, a home, and friends I enjoy socializing with. I go to movies, nightclubs, the theater. We have get-togethers in our home, attend church, and so on. You may not want to believe in my Kind but the fact is we are here, and we walk among you. God bless all of you, Garth.
posted by Dreamteller at
8:08 PM
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